Posts About Nothing
The Big Apple was almost always the first stop on my triennial visits to the US for a solid decade, but it'd been almost exactly ten years since my last visit. Not that much had seemed to change in the meantime.
¡Buenos días Harlem!
If you look in the far distance you can see a couple of those ridiculous super tall, super skinny skyscrapers with luxury apartments for all of the best oligarchs, money launders and other nefarious 'winners' of capitalism..…
A PSA from the NYPD in Times Square....
Bicycle Rickshaws Bumpin’ Biggie
Oligarchs’ Row
A slightly closer look at those ridiculous super tall, super skinny skyscrapers with luxury apartments for all of the best oligarchs, money launders and other nefarious 'winners' of capitalism - aka Billionaires' Row - that were mentioned yesterday.....
$1.50 Slices at 99¢ Pizza
When inflation hits the price of your pizza, but not the name of your establishment....
At least the views are free....
Some nice panoramic views of Midtown Manhattan, as seen from Bushwick Inlet Park in Brooklyn's ultra bougie Williamsburg yesterday afternoon....
Sisyphus Does Manhattan
When you've won the battle, but are most definitely still going to lose the war.....
These pretzels are making me thirsty....
Had no plans to ever visit this corner, despite spending a goodly portion of the late '90s and entire 2000s watching and rewatching every episode - to the extent that all these years later, practically not a single day passes without multiple references popping up regardless of where you are in the world - but tagged along yesterday with a friend who was in town for the first time, and have to say that very low expectations were sufficiently met, perhaps even exceeded.
Which just goes to show once again that having low expectations is one of the greatest gifts you can bestow upon yourself in this crazy world we all live in....
Fatty, Ariel, Tippy & Mabel, oh my
For someone who's spent the past decade collecting photos of missing animal posters - and the past few years obsessively so - Saturday night was a veritable treasure trove of amazing discoveries.....
Little Odessa
After spending most of the summer in the original, it would have been silly to come all the way to NYC and not make the trip out to visit Brooklyn's Little Odessa.
Didn't even think of bringing along swimming shorts, and kind of regretted it - the water was a bit brown and murky, but didn't feel much colder than the Black Sea yesterday.…
Patsy's
Not exactly a card-carrying connoisseur of authentic NY slices, but Patsy's was recommended by a local friend and thoroughly lived up to its apparent cult status. Red neon also never hurts....
Total cost for dinner for two: $11.50*
*Four slices and one soda - neither of us were hungry, but good luck finding a cheaper and equally satisfying meal in New York....
Brighton Bop
Never felt more like a New Yorker than while riding the train home from Brighton Beach to Harlem carrying along a 5-foot plastic sunflower and listening* to the Ramones....
*Not for the whole 90-minute journey, as that would be way too much Ramones, but the homestretch of it, when the train was packed at rush hour....
Incel Camino Sighting
Wow, the first time you see one of these things in person it's somehow even more crappy and absurd looking than months of brutal memes have made it seem. Guess that counts as exceeding expectations....
No questions asked
Authentic Seinfeld Experience
When you're told that 30GB of data and unlimited talk and text will only cost $25 and assured that the sim card will work fine with your phone, but it ends up being $62.28 and can't actually connect to the internet.
On the bright side, being offline while you're out and about in NYC really helps maintain the authentic Seinfeld experience.
The lesson, as always, never trust a charismatic salesman with a pink afro in Harlem, or any US phone companies....
East Village Murals
The Flavor of New York Since 1916
The current records for the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest are:
Men's
Joey Chestnut holds the record for eating 76 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes at the 2021 contest. This broke his own previous record of 75 hot dogs set in 2020.
Women's
Miki Sudo holds the record for eating 51 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes at the 2024 contest. This broke her previous personal record of 48 hot dogs
Netflix & Grill v DönerHaus
Who are you choosing in the battle of the appropriated video streaming service name/logotype turned into a Manhattan eatery?
The correct answer is obviously neither, although DönerHaus does seem to have quite favourable reviews online....
America, fuck yeah!
Having a gaudy military recruitment station in the very heart of Times Square feels like the most appropriate thing ever. The fact that it's surrounded by literal clowns and Mickey Mouses and hoards of people waiting in line to get discounted tickets to various spectacles is almost too much symbolism to process....
Dumpster Fire Merch
Always remember your trip to New York by picking up some last minute merch at the airport....
Taking off from JFK
Putting things in perspective
At a distance of 17km (10.5 miles) the Manhattan skyline is much less impressive than it is up close. Nature on the other hand (ie sky, clouds, sea, islands, etc) almost never disappoints....