California Dreamin’
The Best Urban Sprawl
Say what you want about 'Murica - and Lord knows there's a lot to say - but no one in the world* has better urban sprawl than us, or in more ridiculous, illogical places. It's truly a sight to behold - as you can see from this shot taken above Phoenix....
*Except maybe Dubai, but Dubai hasn't had it nearly as long or at even a fraction of the scale we do.
¡Buenos días Los Ángeles!
First meal in LA: Some incredible ramen
Street art in Sherman Oaks, California....
Howdy, m’lady
One gets the impression that it's always Halloween on Hollywood Boulevard....
Making pets safe again
Making pets safe again on the Hollywood Walk of Fame....
NB: The most surprising thing about this t-shirt stall next to the most (in)famous star on the street is that the Odesa flea market had way more over the top Hollywood-style merch....
Highland Park Bowl
You won't find a more atmospheric bowling alley in the year 2024 than the Highland Park Bowl, located in the eponymous Highland Park neighbourhood of LA. Wow, it's like something out of a movie....
Get ready!
There's no shortage of helpful bus stop PSAs in LA - or bloated NGOs (with Orwellian names) stepping in to provide the services that are handled by governments in almost every other country in the world.... #americares
Bonus Rant: The intersection where this photo was taken is paved so poorly that almost every vehicle (aside from ginormous trucks and SUVs) scrape the asphalt when driving through it.
HOLLYWOOD
Who needs to take an overpriced tour up into the hills, when you can enjoy beautiful, unobstructed panoramic views of the famed Hollywood sign like this one directly from (the dodgy eastern end of) Hollywood Boulevard?
Villa's Tacos
You never know what you're gonna get when you patronise a super popular, super trendy local food spot - especially when it's got those dreaded Michelin signs in the window (or this case the door) - but this place had some amazing, buzz-worthy tacos.
Albeit ones that required a fork to get started on, and a healthy stack of napkins to clean up with after. Would a sink for washing up afterwards be too much to ask? Yes, apparently.
Anyway, if you're ever in the Highland Park neighbourhood of LA, check them out. Or not, whatever. This isn't a sponsored post or anything....
Total cost for two 3-taco combos, plus two agua frescas, plus tax and the minimum socially acceptable tip (of 20%, for semi-takeaway to picnic tables outside) was just under $50. In other words, cheap eats by local LA standards!
A Taste of Sin
This is just a great sign. And the place is also coincidentally (?) located directly across the street from the 'Church' of Scientology on Hollywood Boulevard, which makes it even better....
Trapped in the Closet
The aforementioned 'church' of Scientology building on Hollywood Boulevard. If you haven't googled 'south park scientology' in a while, it might be time to rewatch their infamous 'Trapped in the Closet' episode. RIP Isaac Hayes....
Clown Show
FYI, only two more weeks till 'Muricans go through the charade of having a democracy, and regardless of which painfully phoney clown officially wins, the country (and world) is all but guaranteed to keep getting worse for everyone who isn't a shady oligarch or at least amongst the top few percent in terms of current wealth distribution. As always, low expectations are your friend....
Hooray, hooray!! 🥳🥳🥳
NB: This poster was fittingly spotted opposite LA's beautiful Art Deco City Hall (which was closed for a film shoot) and just across the street from a sizable homeless encampment.
Underhanded compliment incoming…
Underhanded compliment incoming: By US standards the LA metro isn't terrible. Sure, it would need to be 10-15x more extensive to even begin to adequately cover the completely unwalkable sprawling mass of humanity known as Greater Los Angeles, but the $5 a day price cap ain't nothing to scoff at....
NB: If you haven't seen the documentary ‘Taken for a Ride’ or aren't aware of how and why the US had its world-class public transport systems systematically destroyed in the middle of the 20th century, it's a worthwhile (albeit it depressing) way to spend 56 minutes of your time.
Bougie's Best Friend
From the Reality Imitating Satire Dept: If you were wondering what a $43 soap for dogs looks like, wonder no longer....
"A mild skin and fur wash for loyal companions; provides a gentle yet thorough cleanse with deodorising properties.
4 interest-free payments of $10.75 with Klarna."
Order yours directly from Aesop here. Although note that our site will receive exactly zero commission if you do so.
Satire or Reality?
Another of the many, many, many sights in the US that will have you audibly asking whomever you're with ‘Wait, is this satire or reality?’
Spoiler alert: The answer will always be ‘reality’....
I'll have what he's having…
Didn't eat here, but the logo definitely piqued our interest....
According to Google Maps, this place has a 3.9 rating and should be avoided - unless you wanna wait forever and overpay to eat subpar Asian fusion. Still a great logo though!
T-Shirt shopping at the Rose Bowl Flea Market
Autumn in Los Angeles
Pet Apparel in Pasadena
Aprons for cats that are both stylish and practical? Looks like we've got yet another missed purchase regret in the making....
NB: Yeah, it's ridiculous. But there's also a chance that when a being in some advanced future civilisation is giving whatever their version of a PowerPoint is about how our society reached peak decadence and then collapsed, they might include this image in the presentation. And knowing that is pretty cool, right?
Autumn in Los Angeles II
This is technically an ocean view, or at least is on one of those extremely rare (mythological?) occurrences referred to here as 'clear days'....
NB: This post was unfairly harsh for comedic purposes, but here’s some real info from local musician Bee Smith aka Bee Appleseed:
"Usually pretty clear skies in LA and you can see from the hills above Dodger's Stadium in Elysian Park all the way to the Ocean. Great to watch the sunset over the ocean from Angel's Point or Rose Hill, my favorite spots. Used to be a lot more hazey back in the 70s-90s though for sure.“
The fruits of a concrete jungle
Parking might literally be the only thing that's still a good value in Los Angeles - or anywhere else in the US for that matter.
Guess if you're gonna insist on building car-centric, urban hellscapes instead of liveable cities for actual human beings, cheap parking is the very least you can do for the plebs....
You might be in LA if…
You might be in LA if... you discuss the pros and cons of roadtripping down to Tijuana for a night out, but instead end up ‘hiking’ up to a self-realisation compound with a lady doberman named Petey, then going to Glendale for some amazing Lebanese Armenian food....
Petey
The aforementioned lady doberman named Petey....
Carousel
The aforementioned amazing Lebanese Armenian food in Glendale....
NB: Most of the highly rated and frequently recommended Armenian restaurants in Glendale seem to be more of the kabob variety. But Carousel is specifically Lebanese Armenian, which has long been one of my favourite cuisines (after living in Beirut for almost five years and then visiting almost every year for the past decade and a half). And for my tastes this place was close to perfect.
There's a freeway runnin' through the yard
Can't come to LA and not post photos of a freeways....
Autumn in Los Angeles III....
Go Home Hipsters
Just to put things in perspective, this was taken in a neighbourhood where even a tiny house on a small lot is going to set you back something like $1.5m, so it's a bit surprising that any actual hipsters could afford to live there these days - let alone enough of them to motivate someone to scrawl such a message on a guardrail....
Rose Bowl Bowl
When Jack Nicholson was starring in award-winning films about your city's catastrophic water crisis half a century ago, but the toilets at one of your most famous event sites (ie the Rose Bowl) still use like 20 litres of water per flush and the men's bathrooms don't even have any urinals.
Yes, it's yet another edition of Los Angeles’ favourite new trivia game: Satire or Reality?
NB: Southern California is a desert yet accounts for 80% of the world's almonds and 75% of its pistachios, with something like 20% of the state's water used exclusively for cultivating tree nuts.
You might call this insanity, but since it's a handful of corrupt corporations and oligarchs profiting at the expense of society as a whole, it's actually just another example of American-style late capitalism doing American-style late capitalism things....
Rose Bowl Stadium
This is the fourth Rose Bowl post of the past week, but just so you don't think the place is nothing but free speech zones, Trump shirts and water-intensive toilets, here's a cliché shot of the stadium's main façade....
home is for everyone?
The fact that LA has one of the worst housing crises (aka homelessness problems) in the entire world was apparently lost on whoever came up with this window slogan at a bougie furniture store in Old Pasadena. Or perhaps that person is just a fan of irony and cake eating....
Friendly Reminder from TSA
Even stranger than seeing these signs all over US airports is hearing the similar PA announcements broadcast nonstop - especially when you're already at a gate, and thus well past the security checkpoints where such a warning would be relevant....
¡Adios Los Ángeles!
🎶 All the leaves are brown (all the leaves are brown)
🎶 And the sky is gray (and the sky is gray)
🎶 I've been for a walk (I've been for a walk)
🎶 On a winter's day (on a winter's day)
🎶 I'd be safe and warm (I'd be safe and warm)
🎶 If I was in LA (if I was in LA)
🎶 California dreamin' (California dreamin')
🎶 On such a winter's day