All Roads Lead to Rom(ânia)
It’d been a full two decades since I last stepped foot in Bucharest (or anywhere in Romania for that matter), and while I was expecting it to be unrecognisable, it was even nicer (ie even more gentrified, soulless and depressing) than anticipated. Yes, very long gone are the days of getting chased by packs of wild street dogs or being able to buy really nice tailored shirts secondhand from Roma ladies in the street for the equivalent of $1. However, you can still find a bit of character in the city centre if you look a bit - if this is also your huckleberry, googling ‘worst neighbourhoods in bucharest’ is a great place to start.
Behold! Bucharest in all its glory! #nofilter
There's a reason why they call the Romanian capital the 'Paris of the East'. Presumably at least. Probably because both countries have a shared history of having revolutions in the 89th year of odd-numbered centuries, and then publicly executing their funny looking monarchs/dictators....
NB: While generally being against shaming people for their physical appearances, exceptions can and will be made for deceased monarchs and dictators. And these two characters are objectively funny looking:
Romanian bathrooms
Travelling is almost always a fascinating cultural experience. But more often than not, it raises more questions than it provides conclusive answers. And Bucharest is no exception.
For instance, this one café bathroom begged various questions. Questions like: In Romanian, is the name for the men's room really just a couple letters away from being Barbie? What's going on with that guy's right hip? And under what circumstances could a urinal possibly need a lid?
Window shopping
A little Bucharest window shopping. Somehow resisted the urge to purchase this scarf, and will now have to live with the regret for years to come....
A very big building
That's a very big building. The guy who built it must have been beloved by all and sundry during his glorious reign!
Fun fact: That last sentence was originally meant as a joke, but then it turns out that instead of being a joke it's only a slight exaggeration, at least according to Wikipedia:
"Nevertheless, according to opinion polls held in 2010, 41% of Romanians would have voted for Ceaușescu if given the opportunity and 63% felt their lives were better before 1989. In 2014, the percentage of those who would vote for Ceaușescu reached 46%. On 27 December 2018, a poll found 64% of people had a good opinion of him."
Flights you can trust?
Had never heard of HiSky airlines before flying with them for approximately 45 minutes from Chișinău to Bucharest the other day. The flight itself was fine, especially considering that it only cost €70 for a last minute booking, but the slogan on the seat back was not reassuring.
Is there a reason someone wouldn't trust your flights? I hadn't even considered it before now. It's like the aviation equivalent of checking into a roadside motel and having the receptionist inform you that the place definitely isn't haunted without being asked.
NB: The name HiSky also sounds like something a pothead or a baby would come up with, which seems worthy of some ridicule in its own right, but who doesn't love potheads and babies? They're fine, at least for a little while. And it was only a 45-min flight....
Romanian Athenaeum
Just so you guys don't get the impression that Bucharest is nothing but stereotypical dreariness and Soviet era architecture, here's a nice shot of the Romanian Athenaeum - a neoclassical concert hall opened in auspicious year of 1888....
2 out of 3 ain't bad
Finding a (relatively) cheap apartment in a great location with an amazing view is always the goal when making a booking.
Unfortunately, in Bucharest it was necessary to settle for 2 out of 3 from this holy accommodation trinity. Although one could perhaps argue that the view was indeed amazing, just not in the traditional sense....
Red Pandas & Sloths
Without getting too deep into the nationalistic weeds*, it's pretty clear that Moldova is (or at least was) just an historical region of Romania, which got cleaved off by the Soviets for political expediency. So even a century later, the two countries still have much in common - like language and food and religion. And passports**.
There are subtle differences though. For instance, when it comes to cute random mammals trying to sell you stuff, in Moldova they tend to prefer red pandas (aka bougie raccoons), while in Romania their go-to anthropomorphic furry spokesmen of choice are sloths.
So the next time you're at some fancy cocktail party, and the question of how Romania and Moldova are different comes up (as it's wont to do at fancy cocktail parties), you've now got a crowd pleasing and factually accurate contribution to make. You're welcome....
*Google 'Bessarabia' if you're curious
**It's estimated that up to 40% of Moldovans already have Romanian citizenship
Sultan Odeon
While coming across this statue of Atatürk (or Sultan Odeon, as Romanians know him) in Bucharest was unexpected, the most amusing thing was seeing his death date listed at 193∞.
Not sure if this was the original inscription or a more recent modification*, but in either case it's yet more proof that the Father of the Turks was indeed a vampire. Not that any more evidence was really needed given his appearance (see comments).
*Presumably to poke fun at his contemporary rival, Sultan Gollum, whose reign will never eclipse the republic's founding father, even if he rules for another two decades, which at this rate he probably will....
Taxi!
When you've got a slightly overripe 100kg pear to deliver across town asap, but are still certain that you're gonna get a taxi to stop for you.
Don't wanna make this a racial thing, but in much of the world this feels like something only a super self-confident white lady in a skirt suit would be able to pull off with such gusto and panache....
White Lady
Following upon yesterday's post, this is presumably where the super self-confident Romanian lady with the giant pear buys all of her skirt suits....
Late capitalism doing late capitalism things
Not sure about the US or elsewhere in the world, but whenever you see a collection of lock boxes like this one in Europe, you can rest assured that property investors and poor regulation of short-term rentals have so grossly distorted the real estate market that normal housing is all but unaffordable for the vast majority of locals. In other words, just late capitalism doing late capitalism things....
French Revolution®
Something ironic about Romanians trademarking the name 'French Revolution' and using it to sell fancy €5 eclairs to the nouveau riche of Bucharest, ie the 'Paris of the East'....
Lenin Loves You
When you send a postcard to your communist flatmate (who ironically happens to be a postman), but he moves out before it arrives....
All roads lead to Rom(ânia)!!
This sign's touting of liberty and democracy and being a 'neo-communism' free zone is a bit ironic given a small police detention incident that happened just across the street, but that's for another post....
Real life real estate agents
FYI, in Bucharest the real life real estate agents look an awful lot like those you might accidentally come across whilst doing professional or academic research on certain well-known video streaming sites....
Aerodynamik Monster
Hot Take: The world would be a better place if more cars, trucks and vans had ironic, self-deprecating signage on them....
Mega Image
Something about Romania that sounds totally made up, but is actually true: One of the largest supermarket chains in the country is called Mega Image....
A police state with a smile 😀
When you just spent two months in Ukraine, which is currently at war and under martial law, and took 1000s of photos without ever getting hassled by police or military, only to come to Romania and get detained and questioned for almost a half hour for taking a few shots of a public protest in one of the Bucharest's main squares....
Endorsed by Dracula
If you asked an especially imaginative AI photo generator to come up with an over-the-top, satirical campaign for the upcoming Romanian presidential elections - making sure to hit all the usual clichés and stereotypes - it might look something like this.
Except this is actually a real campaign, being run by the leader of the fourth largest party* in the country. And they unironically decided to use Vlad Țepeș aka Vlad the Impaler aka Dracula as a spokesperson.
Wow, just wow. Can't make this stuff up....
*The rather right-wing Alliance for the Union of Romanians, whose raison d'être is unilateral reunification with Moldova, in addition to all the usual nationalistic, populist right-wing stuff, if you were curious....
UPDATE: In the first round of voting on 24 November 2024, this guy got 1,281,325 votes or 13.86%, which put him in fourth place.
Banca Transilvania
Took this photo intending to come up with the perfect blood bank joke before posting it, but still got nothing....
Take what you need
And so concludes our brief visit to the Romanian capital, on a positive note. Until next time Bucharest....